she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
