I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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