She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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