it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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