Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
