Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
