ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
