she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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