Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
