at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
