She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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