Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
