you guys were way drunker than both of me
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
