Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
