U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
