we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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