My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Randomize
