The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
