We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
