that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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