Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
