How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
