"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
