everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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