i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
