I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
