so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
