Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
