am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
