i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
