It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
ttyl tear gas
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
