im six kinds of drunk right now
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
