My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
