6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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