mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
