Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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