you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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