id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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