you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
