Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize