Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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