she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
