I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
