Can i not drive my cunt home
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
