I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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