I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
