my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
