i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
