school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
