the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
